How To Have Phone Sex Without Feeling Guilty or Awkward
It’s been roughly about two months since our official lockdown which means very limited contact with others. After rewatching all 10 seasons of Vanderpump Rules and re-starting Keeping Up With The Kardashians for the third time, something’s gotta give.
If you’re not quarantining with your significant other then you’ve probably started to go a little crazy. Listen, we’re all going through a little bit of a drought right now and a girl’s gotta eat right?
So how do you keep the sexual intimacy part of your relationship going strong if you can’t see your significant other? Easy, it’s called phone sex.
Phone sex is the perfect way to bring a couple closer to each other, especially if you’ve gone a significant amount of time without seeing each other. It’s a completely different and erotic way of connecting with your loved one and there are lots of ways of getting kinky even if you’re not physically with each other.
However, a first time phone sex session can be a little awkward, especially if you’re not used to it. It’s new, it’s different and might even feel a bit weird but with a little practice and some tips from yours truly, you can keep that sexual bond alive and going strong throughout this quarantine.
Go into it with an open mind
This kind of advice applies to anything in life really, but when it comes to phone sex, it’s non-negotiable. You HAVE to keep an open mind about this new ritual that you are about to try. Let go of any reservations that you might have and remember that this is something that you are doing with your partner, someone that you trust and love. Think of it as a new activity that you’re both trying together. Who knows, you might actually end up enjoying it!
Set up a time when you’re both available and free – no distractions
In order to truly enjoy and reap the benefits of phone sex, you need to be fully present and that goes for your partner as well. Make sure that you set up a time when you’re both free of any distractions. That includes distractions on your phone too. Make sure to turn off all notifications while you’re in action – there’s nothing worse than getting a FaceTime call from your mom while you’re… well, you know.
Make sure that your phone is charged
Imagine being mid-orgasm and your phone shuts off. That’s one way to kill the mood.
Come up with a list of fantasies that you want to explore
Everyone has some sort of fantasy. You’re probably thinking about yours right now. But have you ever thought about letting your significant other in on it? This is the perfect way to discuss what you both want without feeling any judgment, you’re both vulnerable and you’re both trying something new with each other at the same time. You can even come up with a list together and use that to stimulate your vocabulary while you’re partaking in phone sex.
Explore between submissive and dominant
Whether you’re submissive or dominant in the bedroom, why not try to switch roles during phone sex. Let your partner control your every move and take the reins of the conversation and vice versa. This keeps the flow of conversation going without it getting awkward plus, it’s a great way to keep both of you participating.
Make sure to use toys
Toys are fun with or without a partner, however, they can really take your phone sex game to the next level. Make sure to describe your every move while you’re speaking to your partner. You can even try to bring your phone closer to your vibrator so that he/she can hear exactly what you’re playing with.
Use dirty words that you wouldn’t normally use
Dirty talk during sex is always fun, but it can definitely be a little awkward and can take some time to get used to. If you’re looking to try out some sexy words, here’s your chance to do so in a completely new environment. Phone sex is all about the words that you use and there are no words to taboo. Play around with some words and see what stimulates you and what stimulates your partner.
Make Sure to Have an Actual Conversation
Phone sex is all about communication and stimulating your partner verbally. It can be easy to let your partner do all the work but where’s the fun in that? Make sure that you are actively participating and that the conversation is flowing back and forth. You could start by telling your partner what you’re doing, what you’re wearing and what you wish he was doing to you.
Try Sexting First
If you’re feeling a little uncomfortable about phone sex or if it’s your first time doing it, try the foreplay of phone sex: sexting. Sexting is a great way to practice what you will eventually say out loud to your significant other. This will allow you to get more comfortable with what you want to say and how you want to say it.
Don’t be Afraid to Use Visuals
Luckily, we live in a world where FaceTime exists which means that your phone sex sessions are even more interactive. Try bringing your phone down lower so your partner can watch you play with yourself or if you’re about to orgasm, let your partner see your face as you’re climaxing.
Be Vocal
Real life sex is not quiet. It’s loud, it’s sweaty and it’s exciting. Phone sex is not any different so don’t be afraid to scream, moan and heavy breathe when needed. This makes the entire experience more normal and your partner will definitely enjoy it.
Have Fun
Remember, there is no right or wrong way to have phone sex. Try not to over think it and just go with the flow and whatever feels best for you. It’s supposed to be fun after all!
Photo credit: Ana Cruz
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